when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
