The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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