whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
