well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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