did you get engaged???
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
