i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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