Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
