fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
