sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The air taste purple.
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