This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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