in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
