rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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