forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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