so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
