My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
