She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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