I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
