I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
