i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
