You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
