can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
