Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
