so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She even gives head with a lisp.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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