thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
