but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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