My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
