did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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