who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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