Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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