playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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