Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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