Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
