ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
