All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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