The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
