everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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