I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
