I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
