i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
