im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
