i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
