So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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