i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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