My first STD was from a foam party
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
