So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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