Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
