My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
