oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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