lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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