ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
