dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
