i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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