goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Someone shit on the floor
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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