I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
