i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
